Dating online success
The same thing happens in our search for love, thanks to our good old pal the unconscious mind. Try to clear your mind of expectations and beliefs about what online dating is or is not before you try it.In short, our unconscious mind is comforted by habit. No, I'm not encouraging a Pollyanic, naive approach.It has surged in popularity over the last 10–20 years, and is now one of the most likely ways to meet a mate.As a Cyberpsychologist I find it fascinating to look at how this changes the way we meet and decide on the people who will become our mates.I always recommend that daters meet a person for the first time in a public place and let someone know where they will be and who they will be with.If you ever feel uncomfortable on a date, make polite excuses and leave (or if you are very worried, don’t make excuses, just leave) without worrying what anyone will think.As a dating and love coach, I hear a lot of complaints about online dating.Single women and men alike complain about how many people they find online who lie about their age or their height or their weight or their hobbies (and/or more! Or they find that people seem singularly interested in playing the field, irresponsibly handling communication and treating online dating like a supermarket for casual hookups.
If you haven’t tried online dating yourself, I’m certain you know someone who has.You only have to look at “Tinder Nightmares” to see examples of inappropriate messaging.While this can be upsetting and disheartening, dating platforms usually offer the chance to report and block users who engage in this kind of behaviour.There are also, of course, the old-fashioned date complaints — that people turn out to be boring or arrogant or jaded. It felt good to bond over the trials and tribulations of what it was like to size someone up "IRL" (in real life) after the initial round of Google searches, mutual friend interrogations and innocent Facebook "stalking."For that reason, when my clients today want to list their complaints about this modern way of meeting potential mates, I nod my head and tell them they're absolutely right.Most of them look at me, shocked, as if they had expected me, a relationship coach living in 2015, to defend online dating as a practical and exciting way to meet someone.